Life on Mars
CJ: Hang on, before we do anything, happy birthday, Mark. And don't ever say I don't pay attention to these things.
Mark: My birthday's in December.
CJ: All right, go ahead and say it then. What do I care?
Toby: You think we should run a counter ad.
Will: We have to.
Toby: Saying what?
Will: Oh. I don't know.
Toby: What do you mean?
Will: What do you mean?
Toby: We've been sitting here for twenty minutes.
Will: I came in to show you the spots and to tell you I think we should run a counter ad. I don't have an idea for one.
Toby: Well get one. Have an idea! Don't come in here with half a thing and not be able to – you know, after you've walked me to the brink, and say "We've got to do this, it's important, though I have no earthly idea how"! Like one of those guys who buys a big new thing but doesn't really know how to get the most out of it!
Will: Toby, either get Andy to marry you, or kill yourself.
Josh: What the hell are you doing?
Donna: I'm sorry, but this bird has been sitting here tapping on the window for...I'm not kidding, I don't know how long, but a long time. I've lost track 'cause I'm moving into certain phases of dementia with this thing.
Leo: Fix this, would you please? There's a story out there we're obstructing justice, and another one we're like in a Ray Bradbury yarn. These things make me crazy.
Josh: Yes, sir.
Toby: How many years have you guys been – "Toby, you eat like a teenager." "Toby, that's red meat." "That's your second cigar." Here I am eating a salad, which by the way you can cover this thing in barbecue sauce and it would still taste like the ground, and I'm getting heckled by the gallery, who wanted to come in here and eat his roast beef sandwich with ketchup on a Kaiser roll and watch the damn tennis on my TV! [pause] That's all I'm saying.
Charlie: Man, Toby, you're really doing everything you can do to get that woman to marry you.
CJ: I saw you have a new column and I think it's terrific, and everyone here at the White House wishes you a lot of luck.
Stu Winkle: You are the classiest thing for calling me!
CJ: Well...
Stu Winkle: You are the classiest thing! You're my hero, CJ.