Guns Not Butter

Act 1

Danny: Jamil Bari is an invented identity for someone. It has to be. For this thing to have worked, the pilot had to be one of our guys.

Thing = plot to assassinate Shareef
Act 3
Leo: If the President's wearing a hat, or that thing's wearing a Bartlet button, I'm hiding snakes in your car.

CJ: Come on, don't say that. Not even to joke.

Thing = goat from Heifer International
Act 3

Elsie: Hey, cool goat. When did you get it?

Will: Professional comedian, Elsie…aahh!

Elsie: I think it's great that you keep oats in the office…just in case. I think when these people find out that kind of thing…

Will: Could you leave me now? I'm focused. Please?

Thing = level of preparedness
Act 3

Josh: $115,000 and he votes yes on Foreign Ops?

Toby: Josh, it's the Federal Government investing…

Josh: I don't care if we're investing in communion wafers.

Toby: Josh, it's the Federal Government.

Josh: We'll deal with the other thing tomorrow.

Toby: Well, I already dealt with it today.

Josh: Not yet and the clock's running. I'm going to Leo.

Other thing = the issue of whether funding a study on the medical benefits of remote prayer violates the separation of church and state
Act 4

Bartlet: I'm on your side in this thing, but just barely. Just by a little bit. ‘Cause he's French and royal.

Charlie: Yes, sir.

Bartlet: These are very special, very limited circumstances under which we're allies, you and I.

Charlie: Understood, sir.

Thing = campaign to undermine Zoey's relationship with her new boyfriend
Act 4

Bartlet: When's this thing with the cow?

CJ: It's a…goat, now.

Bartlet: Okay.

Thing = photo op

Act 4

CJ: So, I think this will work. I think it says “Well, you're impoverished and while we don't care, we don't want you to go away empty-handed, so we offer this goat, Ron, to give you milk.”

Will: Do male goats give milk?

CJ: No. No, of course they don't. So, “We offer you this thing that'll just gnaw on your stuff.”

Thing = animal
Posted by Philateley at January 8, 2003 10:42 PM