Recycled Dialogue

The Doubleheader The Name Game --- Situational Similarities --- Familiar Faces

Sports Night	The West Wing
Dan:  "Discussion is good.  And for those of us fortunate enough to be the subject of magazine articles, it may be our responsibility from time to time to try and raise the level of debate." [The Apology]	Leo: " We're going to lose some of these battles, and we might even lose the White House, but we're not going to be threatened by issues. We're going to bring 'em front and center. We're going to raise the level of public debate in this country, and let that be our legacy." [Let Bartlet Be Bartlet]
Dan: "The point is that any law that makes criminals out of 15 million Americans is probably not such a good idea.  The point was that drug abuse isn't a criminal issue, it's a healthcare issue.  And the money and manpower we spend prosecuting a surfer in San Diego might better be used fighting things that genuinely threaten our national health and safety.  That was the point."  [The Apology]	CJ: "The White House is committed to reversing the devastating affects of drug abuse in our society.  We believe the best way to do that is to treat drug addiction as what the AMA has said it is, which is a medical problem.  We do not believe in a phony war on drugs, the chief accomplishment of which would be to either kill or incarcerate black drug users." [Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics]
Dan:  "He wants an on-air apology?" Stanley:  "He's suggesting--" Dan:  "To whom?" Stanley:  "To you.  He's suggesting to you--" Dan:  "To whom do I apologize?" [The Apology]	Sam:  "He said the President was wrong to make Secretary O'Leary apologize." Leo:  "To whom?" Sam:  "To Wooden." Leo:  "I'm saying who did he say it to?" [Celestial Navigation]
Natalie: "You're missing the signs."  Dana: "I am not missing the signs."  [The Apology]	Donna: "You're missing the signs." Josh: "I'm really not." [The War at Home]
Dana:  "Dave, Chris Will, what are you guys doing tomorrow morning at ten?" Dave:  "We've got a basketball game at the Y." Will:  "Yeah, it's a three-on-three with the guys from--" Dana:  "Dave, Chris Will, what are you guys doing tomorrow morning at ten?" Chris:  "Fixing the sound system?" Dana:  "There you go." [The Hungry and the Hunted]	Josh:  "Sam, I'm going back to the office.  They've got the commerce report ready for me.  What are you doing?" Sam:  "I was gonna go home--" Josh:  "Sam, I'm going back to the office.  They've got the commerce report ready for me.  What are you doing?" Sam:  "I'm gonna go back to your office with you and make sure you understand the commerce report." Josh:  "Thank you." [Mr. Willis of Ohio]
Isaac: "It's taken me a lot of years but I've come around to this: If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. And if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you." [The Hungry and the Hunted]	Leo: "The President likes smart people who disagree with him." [In This White House]
Casey: "'Sunday the 10th, Turandot at Lincoln Center with Gordon.' I'm assuming, although your modifier was dangling, that you were going with Gordon to see Turandot, and that you weren't going to see Gordon in Turandot."  [Intellectual Property]	Josh: "The White House has been instructed by Congress to compile a list of 400 government reports that should be eliminated, as they serve little purpose, and cost the taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars.  We'll assume, though the modifier was dangling, they meant the reports serve little purpose, and not Congress itself." [The Stackhouse Filibuster]
Casey: "You've known for a while now she's been seeing this guy Gordon."  Dan: "Yes." Casey: "And you didn't tell me."  Dan: "Right."  Casey: "Why?"  Dan: "I thought you might be upset. I can see now I was wrong." [Intellectual Property]	Jed: "When did it happen?" Leo: "Two weeks ago." Jed: "And you’re just now telling me?" Leo: "Honestly, I know how you feel about Jenny.  I thought you’d think that somehow you were responsible for it, and you’d turn that guilt into an inappropriate anger toward me, which frankly I can live without right now.  I can’t imagine what made me think all that." [Mr. Willis of Ohio]
Dan: "You can catch all that action on CSC on Campus with Steve Myers coming up at the top of the hour, and you won't want to miss Championship Billiards at one a.m. Yoshira Yatsimura takes on Greta Lipsik for the nine-ball crown, and when those two get together, it's a barn burner."  [Dear Louise]	Jed: "Women's softball.  It's going to be great.  Mrs. Landingham, I'm watching a live sporting event from beginning to end tonight." Mrs. Landingham: "And when Sacramento State and the University of the Pacific get together, it's usually a barn burner, sir." [What Kind of Day Has It Been]
Isaac: "Okay. What was I saying?"  Dana: "You were building a dungeon to incarcerate any Republican suitors."  Isaac: "And a moat. A big moat."  [Dear Louise]	Jed: "My daughter asked you out?" Charlie: "Yes, sir." Jed: "I should have locked her in the dungeon." Charlie: "I don't think you've got one, sir." Jed: "I could have built one." [Lord John Marbury]
Casey: "Whatcha doing?"  Dan, paging through script: "Looking for my talent."  [Dear Louise]	Toby: "Somewhere in this building is our talent." [Enemies]
Dana, upon learning Isaac's daughter is fine after an emergency C-section:  "Oh, that's the best news I've ever heard." [Thespis]	Donna, upon learning the President is fine after emergency surgery: "Oh, that's the best news I've ever heard." [In the Shadow of Two Gunmen, Part II]
Isaac: "You want to listen to me, or do you want to tell your little jokes?" Dana: "I can do both." [Shoe Money Tonight]	Leo: "You wanna mock people, or you wanna let me talk to Toby?" Josh: "I want to mock people." [Galileo]
Chris: "I hear she's great in that new thing." Natalie: "Thank you, Siskel & Ebert." [Shoe Money Tonight]	Toby: "Direction and track are two different words." CJ: "Thank you, Funk & Wagnall's." [Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics]
Jeremy, to Natalie, who's being irrational: "Have you fallen on your head?" [Shoe Money Tonight]	Toby, to Josh after he accidentally announced a secret plan to fight inflation:  "Have you fallen on your head?  Have you fallen down and hit your head on something hard?" [Celestial Navigation]
Casey, to Dana, to prove his claim that her envy of Sally is personal: "Her legs do go all the way down to the floor." [Shoe Money Tonight]	Amy, to Josh, to prove that he should be envious of her relationship with Congressman Tandy: "I have legs that go all the way down to the floor, my friend." [100,000 Airplanes]
Jeremy: "Did you ever think about why you make lists?" Natalie: "It's so I can cross things off it." [The Six Southern Gentlemen of Tennessee]	Tabatha: "I like crossing off lists. Very satisfying. You like lists?"  Toby: "Yes."  Tabatha: "You like crossing things off?"  Toby: "I'll let you know if it happens." [The U.S. Poet Laureate]
Casey: "Those stories, plus we'll show why if you haven't seen Davis Love play Pebble Beach, you haven't seen Shakespeare the way it was meant to be played." [Smokey]	Sam: "And we're going to go in there and we're going to watch CJ do The Jackal. And believe me, if you haven't seen CJ do The Jackal then you haven't seen Shakespeare the way it's meant to be done." [Six Meetings Before Lunch]
Isaac, in response to an anonymous quote: "When I say something, I put my name next to it." [Rebecca]	Sam, in response to an anonymous note: "When I write something, I sign my name." [And It's Surely to Their Credit]
Jeremy: "Should I close the door?" Isaac: "As long as you're all on the other side of it." [Rebecca]	Josh: "Close the door.  Donna." Donna: "With me on the other side?" [Bad Moon Rising]
Jeremy: "I'm Jewish, and her family is, you know, incredibly not.  Which isn't, by the way, any sort of a problem for me, but I do think it might be a problem for them, after all, there are those who think I killed their Lord, Jesus Christ." [Sally]	Ainsley: "Lionel Tribbey thinks hiring me was a great idea?" Leo: "Why are you surprised?" Ainsley: "Well, because I'm a Republican, and Lionel Tribbey is incredibly not." [And It's Surely to Their Credit]
Rebecca: "You guys, seriously, I'm just gonna sit down in the middle of the room and cry."  [The Sword of Orion]	Bruno: "I'm reading things that would make the cast of Up with People sit down in the middle of the room and cry."  [Manchester, Part I]
Casey: "Danny." Danny: "Yeah?" Casey: "I just wanted to say that if anything terrible ever had to happen to one of us, I'd want it to be you." Danny: "Thank you." [Ordnance Tactics]	Josh: "I really think that if big chunks of the ceiling are going to fall down on anyone... I don't know..." Donna: "What?" Josh: "It should be you." Donna: "I knew you were going to say that." [The Short List]
Dan: "I'm Mr. Happy Guy." [Ten Wickets]	Sam: "Al's Mr. Good News Happy Guy." [Mandatory Minimums]
Natalie: "When the dust settles on this thing, you know what you're gonna have to get?" Dan: "Punishment?" Natalie: "A little punishment." [Napoleon's Battle Plan]	Jed: "CJ, we don't handle my wife.  When we try, you know what happens on the other end of this building?" CJ: "You get a little punishment?" Jed: "I get a little punishment." [The White House Pro-Am]
Casey, to his son: "The only thing you have to do to make me and your mom happy is come home at the end of the day." [What Kind of Day Has It Been]	Jed, to his daughter: "The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was to come home at the end of the day." [Ellie]
Dana: "Here's the thing: I think only one of us should be angry at a time, and I have a hunch it's gonna be me." [What Kind of Day Has It Been]	Charlie: "You know, if nothing else, I think if either one of us is gonna be pissed, it really oughta be me." [The White House Pro-Am]
Jeremy: "A writer once wrote 'As if it matters how a man falls down.  When the fall is all that's left, it matters very much.'" [What Kind of Day Has It Been]	Toby: "I turned it on just as they got to the scene when Richard, Jeffrey, and John were locked in the dungeon and Henry was coming down to execute them, and Richard tells his brothers not to cower, but to take it like men, and Jeffrey says, 'You fool.  As if it matters how a man falls down.' And Richard says, 'When the fall is all that's left--" Jed: "'When the fall is all that's left, it matters a great deal.'" [H.Con. 172]
Natalie: "Who's coming?  J.J. and the boys?" Dana: "Yeah." Natalie: "Good, 'cause they're qualified to tell us how to write and produce a television show given their many years of experience neither writing nor producing television shows." [Cliff Gardner]	Jed: "Around here, we do whatever Ron says." CJ: "Well, I think that might be an overreaction." Jed: "Good for you.  With all your years of training and experience in sniffing out crime, your opinion really carries a lot of weight with me." [Enemies Foreign & Domestic]
Tina Lake, to Dan: "I hardly ever understand what you're saying." [Louise Revisited]	Donna: "You know what I'm saying!" Josh: "Hardly ever." [Galileo]
Jeremy: "Let's do it, baby!" Dana: "You weren't just talking to me, right?" Jeremy: "No, I was just saying it generally." [Kafelnikov]	Donna: "Well, do it, baby!" Josh: "There's a couple of roadblocks." Donna: "What?" Josh: "Whenever a vacancy comes up, the party leadership on both sides--Did you just call me 'baby' back there?" Donna: "Yeah." Josh: "Okay." [Let Bartlet Be Bartlet]
Jeremy: "Graphics are up, my good friends.  As sure as the sun sets in the west, as sure as there will always be an England, the graphics are up!" Dana: "Natalie... Way too much sugar for him lately." [Kafelnikov]	Jed: "CJ, let me tell you something: Don't ever, ever underestimate the will of the grandfather.  We're madmen.  We don't give a damn. We got here before you, and they'll be here after.  We'll make enemies, we'll break laws, we'll break bones, but you will not mess with the grandchildren." Leo, to CJ: "There was quite a bit of sugar in the crème de caramel." [The Stackhouse Filibuster]
Casey: "And all I'm saying is he's got enough people telling him that right now -- the papers, talk radio, agents, lawyers, the league, his teammates, his sister's TV show, and maybe he doesn't need any more guests at that party.  Maybe the best role you can play right now is as his sister, Dana, is all I'm saying." [The Reunion]	Danny: "Two thousand marriage proposals, two thousand death threats, a dozen body guards, everyone wants to get close, everyone wants a thing.  Plus -- and I say this standing fifteen feet away from the Oval Office -- life with father couldn't have been a real company picnic, you know.  If it was me, just for now, I'd make sure I was the one guy in her life who was totally hassle free." [The White House Pro-Am]
Isaac:  "A famous monk once said, I don't always know what the right thing to do is, my Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you." [The Reunion]	Leo:  "Who is the monk who wrote, I don't always know the right thing to do, Lord, but I think the fact that I want to please you pleases you." [Posse Comitatus]
Dana: "Would you tell him this is the twenty-first century and we are not in Taming of the Shrew." Kim: "He says he doesn't understand the reference." [The Sweet Smell of Air]	Jed: "You know what you are? You are the Charlie Brown of missile defense. The Pentagon is Lucy." Leo: "I'm not familiar with the reference, sir." [The Drop-In]
Casey: "The Sports Report's Top 100 list is coming out Friday... You're not on it." Dan: "What else is new?" Casey: "I am on it." Dan: "That's great... who was higher than you?" Casey: "Ninety-one other people." [Celebrities]	Roger Becker: "Are you aware that the new Premiere magazine list is coming out Monday?" CJ: "The hundred most powerful people in Hollywood? ... Yes, I am.  And I can tell you that you're on it, and congratulations, and it must, you know, feel good being that powerful.." Roger Becker: "I went from third to ninth.  I dropped to ninth.  Do you know how that looks?  Do you know how many other people were ahead of me?" CJ: "Eight." [In the Shadow of Two Gunmen, Part II]
Dana: "This is me all day long, now, Malibu Barbie." Natalie: "Dana." Dana: "You're short, and nobody likes you very much." [Bells and a Siren]	Ainsley: "You say I shouldn't be drunk when I'm representing the White House." Sam: "Yeah, and please don't forget you're a blonde, Republican girl, and that nobody likes you." [Bartlet's Third State of the Union]
Natalie: "I hate Jeremy's breathing guts, but I love him like I've never loved anybody." Natalie, to Jeremy: "Come to think of it, I hate your living guts." [April is the Cruelest Month; La Forza del Destino]	Donna, to Josh: "I hate your breathing guts." [17 People]