It's Ainsley's first day as assistant White House counsel, and the rough treatment she receives punctures her idyllic view of the White House. Two staffers sneer at her and send her dead flowers, and her liberal boss Lionel Tribbey explodes at Leo for hiring her in the first place. The President, to Donna's frustration, is unable to get through the Saturday morning radio address on leaf-peeping, while Abbey provides inspiration for changing the topic to underappreciated female historical figures Meanwhile, CJ takes on a retiring General who is intent on dissing the President in public, and Josh frets over his insurance company's refusal to pay for life-saving medical treatment. Sam's solution: Josh should sue the Ku Klux Klan for his injuries. Also, there's singing.

Starring:

ROB LOWE as Sam Seaborn
DULÉ HILL as Charlie Young
ALLISON JANNEY as C.J. Cregg
JANEL MOLONEY as Donna Moss
RICHARD SCHIFF as Toby Ziegler
JOHN SPENCER as Leo McGarry
BRADLEY WHITFORD as Josh Lyman
and MARTIN SHEEN as President Josiah Bartlet

Donna:  Did you really know Jack Warner, Mr. President?

Bartlet:  Yeah, because I used to be a contract player in Hollywood and I'm 97 years old.

CJ:  Have you noticed that I'm one of the few people around here whose nose isn't bent out of shape over Ainsley Hayes?

Toby:  Yeah.  Listen-

CJ:  I'm serious.

Toby:  You heard the news and you slammed the door so hard it broke, okay?  You heard the news and you broke the White House.

Tribbey:  You're an idiot.

Ainsley:  Leo...

Leo:  She's not an idiot, Lionel.  She clerked for Dreifort.

Tribbey:  Well, Dreifort's an idiot.

Leo:  Dreifort's a Supreme Court Justice, Lionel, so let's speak of him with respect and practice some tolerance for those who disagree with us.

Tribbey:  I believe as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the First, Fourth, Fifth, and Ninth Amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him.

Sam:  Trying to help Josh with his insurance thing.  The hospital was out of network, therefore they're claiming responsibility for only 20% of a life-saving medical procedure.  Also, he didn't get the procedure cleared beforehand.

Toby:  His lung was collapsed and blood stopped flowing to his brain, and he was supposed to dial up the automated 24-hour customer care service line?

Sam:  If it keeps up like this, he's going to have to sue these people.

Toby:  I like a country where you can sue the insurance company but not the people who shot you.

Sam:  Josh, I think you know that for the last three months you were out recovering, a lot of people were looking for a new legislative avenue for federal law enforcement to get the extremists.

Josh:  You could throw out the Bill of Rights.

Sam:  Toby tried.

Josh:  I was kidding.

Toby:  Our people can be deposed too, which leaves them vulnerable to embarrassing questions like, "Have you ever tried cocaine?"  They can ask Sam has he ever slept with a prostitute.

Josh:  Those questions are irrelevant.

Leo:  That's why they'll ask them.  If one of our people refuses to answer, it's a story.

Toby:  So we're not wild about it.

Leo:  That said, say the word and we'll take a leave of absence and join your legal team.

Tribbey:  What're you lookin' at?

Sam:  I'm -- Nothing.  I'm not -- Nothing.  Except it's from Pinafore.

Tribbey:  It's from Penzance.

Sam:  I hate to stick my head in the lion's mouth, but I gotta ask you:  Were you the recording secretary of the Princeton Gilbert & Sullivan Society for two years?

Tribbey:  No, but then again I'm not a woman, so...